2The latest Onion Conspiracy Index omitted a key player. We regret that this arch-puppeteer has ensnared us in its global scheme and won’t allow The Onion to correct the error.
More Corrections
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Last Tuesday, The Onion accidentally printed a photo of a nun feeding an apple to a horse everywhere a photo belonged.
The Birthday Girl
An article yesterday repeatedly referred to Hillary Clinton as “the birthday girl.” This was unprofessional and entirely inaccurate.
We're So Sorry
The Onion apologizes for its failure to meet the oh-so-high editorial standards of a genius such as yourself.
