Goddamn Ficus Plant Should Come With Instructions
ALBUQUERQUE, NM–According to area resident Howard Braddock, 44, the goddamn ficus plant in the sun room ought to come with some basic fucking instructions as to what to give it and when. "I'm either overwatering it or underwatering it," said Braddock of the dying plant. "But unless I get myself either an owner's manual or a Ph.D in botany, I may as well just flip a friggin' coin." Braddock further noted that whatever the hell's wrong, three leaves fall off every time he even so much as breathes on the damn thing.
More News in Brief
- « AOL Acquires Time-Warner In Largest-Ever Expenditure ... (January 19, 2000)
- Bathroom-Disinfectant Ad Reinforces Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder » (January 19, 2000)
Recent News »
-
New Photos Reveal Stress Of Obama's First Term In Office Has Rapidly Aged Americans
-
Intelligent, Condescending Life Discovered In Distant Galaxy
-
Congressman Hurt To Discover Lobbyist Not Really His Friend
-
Cartoon Network Celebrates Brak History Month
-
'Huffington Post' Employee Sucked Into Aggregation Turbine
-
Obama Criticized For Living In Lavish Mansion While Most Americans Struggle To Make Ends Meet
-
FDA Urges Americans To Check Out Weird-Looking Potato
-
Abusive Father Can't Wait To See The Art He's Inspiring His Kids To Create
Facebook