CorrectionsOpinion ISSUE 48•19 May 12, 2012

Last week The Onion reported that no one attended Eli O'Neal's going away party, when in reality we meant funeral, which was, at the time, too sad to print. The Onion regrets the error. Oh man. Eli. Why?

More Corrections

Mule Rank

The mule should have been No. 5 instead of No. 12 on our annual animal rankings. The Onion regrets the error.

Blank Paper

Monday’s paper was blank. The Onion apologizes.

Julie

In yesterday’s issue we accidentally wrote “Julie Gallant” in place of every name in every article.