0Last week The Onion reported that no one attended Eli O'Neal's going away party, when in reality we meant funeral, which was, at the time, too sad to print. The Onion regrets the error. Oh man. Eli. Why?
More Corrections
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Last Tuesday, The Onion accidentally printed a photo of a nun feeding an apple to a horse everywhere a photo belonged.
The Birthday Girl
An article yesterday repeatedly referred to Hillary Clinton as “the birthday girl.” This was unprofessional and entirely inaccurate.
We're So Sorry
The Onion apologizes for its failure to meet the oh-so-high editorial standards of a genius such as yourself.
