LOS ANGELES—An ongoing interrogation at the Los Angeles Police Department's downtown precinct has not been as successful as hoped, despite the fact that officers are employing the "tried and true" good cop, avid-stamp-collector cop routine, sources reported. "That's one tough bastard in there," Detective Mark Jacobson said of the suspect, who has already endured five hours of the classic psychological ploy in which Jacobson acts as a sympathetic confidant while his partner talks aggressively about stamps and stamp-collecting. "[Detective David] Linklater's in there right now giving that slimeball a good look at a rare original-print Dag Hammarskjöld invert. We'll break him." According to LAPD records, the Jacobson and Linklater duo has been among the precinct's most effective, creating more than 2,000 new philatelists and boasting nearly six arrests.
More News in Brief
Biden Investigated For Questionable Workers’ Comp Claim
WASHINGTON—Weeks after accepting a workers’ compensation settlement for a personal injury he purportedly sustained on the job, Vice President Joe Biden is under investigation ...
Gay Kid Excited To Be Made Fun Of For Second Thing
SUGAR LAND, TX—Shortly after reports surfaced today that the Boy Scouts of America had voted to lift its ban on gay youths, local homosexual ...
Man Eating McChicken Sandwich Can Tell McDonald's Switched Up Antibiotics
SEATTLE—Citing “subtle notes of ethambutol and clindamycin,” longtime McDonald’s customer Chris Hingle reported Thursday that he could discern from the taste of his ...



0

