0LANSING, MI—Michigan governor John Engler issued a formal pardon to himself for living Tuesday. "Like, excuse me for living, okay?" read the four-page pardon, which absolves Engler from all culpability in his own existence. "I guess I'm not God. Hope that's okay with everybody." The sneering, sarcastic tone of the gubernatorial pardon is believed to be a reaction to the widespread criticism leveled at Engler in recent weeks, including a Lansing News-Clarion editorial calling him "Governor Lame-o" and a report by Detroit's NBC-TV affiliate suggesting that he "get half a clue." "I am sooo sorry I didn't live up to your expectations," Engler said.
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