DECATUR, IL—Not wanting to appear old or frail in front of his family, 78-year-old Gordon Isensee did everything in his power Thursday to make his first crippling fall look as cool as possible. "I felt my knees buckle and I knew I had to act quick to try to make it look as smooth as possible," Isensee said. "I crumpled to the kitchen floor but managed to extend my arms out, say 'Ta-da!' and tell everyone who was standing over me that I'd be there all week. I think that really impressed them." Isensee then spent the entire ambulance ride thinking about the perfect catheter joke he could tell his grandchildren when they visited him at the hospital.
More News in Brief
Last 12 Years A Real Wake-Up Call For Area Man
SAGINAW, MI—Saying he had been “shaken up pretty badly” after hitting rock bottom from 2001 to 2013, local man Phillip Garvey, 41, told reporters ...
Report: Texting While Driving Okay If You Look Up Every Couple Seconds
WASHINGTON—A new report published Monday by the National Transportation Safety Board advises motorists that sending text messages while driving “is totally fine” and “not ...
3-Day Weekend Practically Already Over
WASHINGTON—According to sources, the long Memorial Day weekend in honor of Monday’s federal holiday is practically over already, with the hours left in ...



12
