Dear The Onion,
I recently found out about a great new food I’m sure your readers would love to hear about: grapes. Give them a try.

— Joyce Babb, Wayne, NJ

Dear The Onion,
Why is it that almost every time we pick up The Onion we have to read about another beached whale? What is this, The Onion For Beached Whales?

— Erin Richard, Saratoga Springs, NY

Dear The Onion,
Do you know if there is any way for readers to get messages to the editors? Thanks.

— Kyle McNulty, Short Hills, NJ

Dear The Onion,
I just got September 19th's political cartoon. Ha ha, good one!

— Elias Marvinney, Somerville, MA

Dear The Onion,
By the time you read this I will have canceled my subscription. I know this may be difficult for you to hear, but I’ve found another newspaper that informs me in ways I never thought possible. It’s the Dubuque Telegraph Herald and I’m moving to Iowa to be with it. I’m sorry. Take care of yourself.

— Ethan Thompson, Seattle, WA

Dear The Onion,
You printed a recipe for marshmallow Jell-O salad in one of your issues in the 1950s or possibly early '60s. Could you remind my friend Eunice and I how many teaspoons of lemon juice the recipe called for?

— Annabelle Turner, Dubuque, IA

Dear The Onion,
I know your etiquette column said 20 percent is an appropriate amount to tip for good service, but I've realized that even if you don't leave anything, there's nothing anyone can do about it. Hope this helps!

— Earl Decker, Marietta, GA

Dear The Onion,
Last week, I spent more than 15 minutes trying to find the continued story on page 12. This week, I checked page 12 again. What page 12 are you talking about, and how many weeks am I going to have to wait to finish the story?

— Barbara Stillman, Portland, ME