BURLINGTON, VT–Scandal rocked the Green Party Monday when it was revealed that a high-ranking Nader 2000 official embezzled $10 in campaign funds for a dime bag of marijuana. According to police, prior to a Sept. 29 rally in Burlington, finance director Jim "Patches" Lowell, 49, removed $10 from the Green Party cashbox and redirected the funds toward the purchase of approximately two joints' worth of marijuana from Pete Cudahy, a local hacky-sack vendor and part-time drug dealer. Green Party presidential candidate Ralph Nader has promised a full internal investigation of the misallocation of funds, saying that he has made it clear to party officials in the past that "the cashbox money is not for weed."
More News in Brief
BREAKING: Lovers Lost In Fog
‘Isabelle!’
SEDGECREST GRANGE—According to reports currently emanating from the sullen gloom of Sedgecrest Grange, two young lovers, mere moments after their impetuous peregrination into the ...
Report: 79% Of Sincere Thoughts Played Off As Jokes
NEW HAVEN, CT—According to a groundbreaking new report from researchers at Yale University’s Center for Cultural Sociology, a full 79 percent of all ...
Apparently Facebook Friend Under Impression Ron Paul Still Running For Major Federal Office
COLUMBUS, OH—Based on his recent activity on Facebook, local man Arthur Gibson, 29, is reportedly under the impression that libertarian icon and former presidential ...



0
