After we finally had to admit that no amount of tears and pleading would ever bring Chicago resident Greg Yaffe back, The Onion has officially reduced its published circulation number by one.
The Onion apologizes for its failure to meet the oh-so-high editorial standards of a genius such as yourself.
The headline of Tuesday's article about homegrown terrorism was not as alarmist as it could have been.
After defending Cindy for years, The Onion finally realized she’s no good. You were right.