12CLEVELAND—Nearly six decades after electric-guitar-based rock and roll began its dominance of mainstream popular music, the fad has finally run its course, a group of fans, critics, and record industry executives confirmed Sunday. "At this point, who'd want to sit through another incendiary guitar solo?" said Eric Clapton, a guitarist. "There's really only so much you can do with the thing. The guitar has had a nice run, but it's time to move on." Confirming reports that six-string sales have plummeted, music store owners noted that business has been steady overall, with teenagers eager to put down $500 in hopes of riding to stardom on the new clarinet craze.
More News in Brief
New Obesity Drug Delicious
CHICAGO—Following the FDA’s approval of the prescription obesity medication Pryvexa earlier this week, users of the recently released weight management pill have confirmed ...
Nation Excited To See Whatever Bile The Internet Spews Up Today
WASHINGTON—According to reports, the American people are currently rubbing their hands in anticipation for whatever vile, disgusting garbage the internet will eventually puke up ...
Scientific Breakthrough Reveals Stars Consist Primarily Of Twinkles
WASHINGTON—In a breakthrough study that experts say completely reshapes our understanding of the cosmos, a team of astrophysicists at Oxford University have discovered that ...
