Haggard Scared Straight

American Voices • people • religion • gay & lesbian • ISSUE 43•06 • Feb 8, 2007

The Reverend Ted Haggard, who left his ministry amidst allegations of drug use and hiring male prostitutes is now reportedly "completely straight" after three weeks of therapy. What do you think?

“Man, that's faster than my recovery after ACL surgery. I should have just been gay instead.”
Joseph Kennedy –
Cashier
“I'm skeptical. I'd want to see him have sex with a lady…my wife…I want to watch another man fuck my wife. Oh, God, what's wrong with me?!”
Lyle Jacobs –
Big Rig Mechanic
“It's true. I saw that press conference where reporters tempted him by waving a bunch of meth-covered cocks in his face, and he didn't even flinch.”
Victoria Slulum –
Punch-Press Operator

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