Too much weather to explain in just nine words--maybe in twelve--nope, not even in seventeen.
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking

    Halloween

    Slideshow • ISSUE 47•44 • Oct 31, 2011
    • Facebook519
    • Twitter42
    • Google Plus5
    • How To Find A Masculine Halloween Costume For Your Effeminate Son

      Expert stops by Today NOW! to show parents of girly sons costume tips to survive Halloween without accentuating their child's obvious homosexuality.
      1 of 7
    • Halloween Unfortunately Not Only Night Of Year Area Man Drunk In Firefighter Uniform

      2 of 7
    • Trick-Or-Treaters To Be Subject To Random Bag Searches

      WASHINGTON, DC—Responding to
      3 of 7
    • Unemployed Dad Channels All His Energy Into Creating, Running Haunted House

      PORT CLINTON, OH—Unemployed father Daniel Spencer, 42, has reportedly spent the past several weeks focusing all his time and energy on transforming his home into a haunted house for Halloween.
      4 of 7
    • What Are We Handing Out For Halloween?

      5 of 7
    • Confused Firefighters Fail To Rescue Child Wearing Firefighter Costume

      6 of 7
    • In The Know: Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized?

      Panelists discuss whether Halloween candy and costumes have distracted us from placating demons to ensure a bountiful harvest.
      7 of 7
    • More Slideshows

      Start Over
      • The Week In Pictures

      • The Week In Pictures

      • Ten Years Later: A Look Back On The World Since 9/11

      • Vacations

      • This Week In Pictures

    Recently in Slideshow See More >

    LIFESTYLE

    LIFESTYLE

    NEWS

    SPORTS

    ENTERTAINMENT

    ENTERTAINMENT

    Recent News

    Ahmadinejad Signs On As Dean At Sarah LawrenceNation Admits It Always A Little Bored By Whole Jimmy Hoffa ThingSyrian Rebels, Government Think It’s About Time To Call Syria A DayItaly, Japan Advance To G8 FinalsFinancial Sector Thinks It’s About Ready To Ruin World AgainSources: You Don’t Want To Know What Currently Happening To Saudi Arabian Woman‘Whitey Bulger Ordered The Murder Of 19 People,’ Reports Anonymous Rat Bastard

    Recent Videos

    Will Season Four Of ‘Downton Abbey’ Finally Show The Wizards Using Their Powers?

    The Onion Looks Back At 'The Wizard Of Oz'Single Woman Has Facebook Profile Picture With Sister

    • Film: Newswire: The Logan's Run remake is now being written by BioShock's Ken Levine

    • TV: Great Job, Internet!: Russell Brand eviscerated the hosts of MSNBC's Morning Joe

    • Film: Newswire: That Sin City sequel has been pushed back all the way to next year

    • I Kissed a Republican Chewing Gum

    • Area Man T-Shirt

    • I Hate Whatever Today Is Mug

    • Will Season Four Of 'Downton Abbey' Finally Show The Wizards Using Their Powers?

    • A.V. Undercover: Alpine Covers Radiohead

    • A.V. Club Stand Down: Tig Notaro bombs onstage, then things get worse

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved