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    Health Care

    Slideshow • healthcare • ISSUE 46•27 • Jul 8, 2010
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    • Lawyers Opposing Health Care Law Cite Kids-With-Pre-Existing-Conditions-Can-Go-Fuck-Themselves Clause

      WASHINGTON—As the Supreme Court hears oral arguments today on President Obama's health care reform law, plaintiffs aiming to strike down the legislation are citing the U.S.
      1 of 13
    • Backup Health Care Plan Involves Nation Sharing One Big Jar Of Ointment

      WASHINGTON—In the event the Supreme Court strikes down the president's health care law, the Obama administration has prepared a contingency plan under which all 313 million Americans would share a single large jar of ointment, sources confirmed Tues...
      2 of 13
    • Study: Most Children Strongly Opposed To Children’s Healthcare

      A recent survey of children found that they are not in favor of increased doctor visits and vaccinations.
      3 of 13
    • Republicans, Leukemia Team Up To Repeal Health Care Law

      WASHINGTON—In the coming weeks, Republicans and leukemia will travel the country in an effort to diminish support for the increasingly popular bill, which GOP sources said goes against everything that Republicans and the massive accumulation of toxic cells stand for.
      4 of 13
    • Obama: Health Care Plan Would Give Seniors Right To Choose How They Are Killed

      WASHINGTON—"If your grandmother would rather be euthanized in the privacy of her own home than be gutted and hanged on a high school soccer field, she is entitled to that right," said the president, who acknowledged that "wiping out" the nation's elderly population has always been his No. 1 priority.
      5 of 13
    • Congress Deadlocked Over How To Not Provide Health Care

      WASHINGTON—"It is our responsibility to put differences aside and focus on refusing Americans the health care they deserve," said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.
      6 of 13
    • Cancer Walk Goes Under 15-Straight Miles Of High Tensile Power Lines

      7 of 13
    • Powerful Rest And Fluids Industry Influencing Doctors' Treatment Of Colds

      WASHINGTON—What began as a small-scale racket has grown into a worldwide organization, with billions spent each year pushing its pro-nap, broth-focused agenda.
      8 of 13
    • Man Succumbs To 7-Year Battle With Health Insurance

      DENVER—According to an independent study, health insurance is the nation’s No. 2 killer, claiming the lives of some 400,000 Americans each year.
      9 of 13
    • Grandfathers Accidentally Switched At Hospital

      LOS ANGELES—Hospital officials informed Janice Redding that the man her family knew as "Grandpa" for the past half-year actually belonged to someone else.
      10 of 13
    • New Prescription-Only Sandwich Extra Delicious

      NEW YORK—Pfizer formally introduced Hoagizine, a pharmaceutical-grade Turkey-Bacon-Guacamole Melt.
      11 of 13
    • Renowned Hoo-Ha Doctor Wins Nobel Prize For Medical Advancements Down There

      STOCKHOLM—As a world-renowned expert on lady-part maladies, Dr. Victoria Lozoff led a team of hoo-ha doctors to develop new strategies for detecting abnormal cells in...you know, that area.
      12 of 13
    • World Death Rate Holding Steady At 100 Percent

      GENEVA, SWITZERLAND—World Health Organization officials expressed disappointment Monday at the group's finding that, despite the enormous efforts of doctors, rescue workers and other medical professionals worldwide, the global death rate remains constant at 100 percent.
      13 of 13
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