Heavy Drinkers Live Longer Than Teetotalers

A new data analysis in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research found that people that abstained from alcohol died earlier than even heavy drinkers. What do you think?

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  “This makes sense. I know when I get drunk I always feel invincible." ”

  Doug Thornton –
  Systems Analyst

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  “What, really? I thought I'd only have to tolerate hearing that dentures-in-the-urinal story for maybe another five years tops."”

  Penny Miller –
  Backfiller

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  “I hope my extra long life doesn't tip off my wife that I've been drinking."”

  Oliver Randolph –
  Ring Stamper