With David Beckham retiring last week, Onion Sports examines notable moments from the soccer player’s illustrious 21-year career.

  • 1993: Signs first professional contract at Old Trafford, with a guaranteed signing bonus of 3 million soccer balls
  • 1994: Plays season on loan from Manchester United with the Hiawatha, IA Youth Soccer League Boys U12 Wildcats
  • 1997: Caps off Premier League–winning season that included memorable victories against Manchester United foes Coventry City, Southampton, Sheffield Wednesday, Percy of the Hills, Friendly Arthur, Burbridge Tickles, and Nottingham Forest
  • 1998: Infamously receives a red card during the World Cup after kicking out at Argentina’s Diego Simeone, an incident that would leave the South American with incredibly serious fake injuries
  • 1999: Begins dating Spice Girl Victoria “Posh Spice” Adams, leading to the British tabloids nicknaming the couple “Posh Spice and David Beckham”
  • 2005: Following Real Madrid’s victory over Barcelona, Beckham’s mother forgets to pick up her son, leaving him to wait in the parking lot for like two hours
  • 2007: Makes hotly anticipated MLS debut before crowd of 30 screaming Galaxy fans
  • 2010: Tears Achilles tendon, even though he was just playing soccer
  • 2011: Wins an MLS cup with the LA Galaxy, completing the Triple Who-Gives-A-Shit Crown