Horoscope for the week of June 13, 2001Horoscope • ISSUE 37•22 • Jun 13, 2001 Aries Your decision to put on a show to save the old malt shop will result in your arrest for public nudity, indecent behavior, and violation of six health codes.Taurus The stars indicate that this is a good time to start new projects. At the same time, your neighbor's dog indicates it's a good time to kill young couples.Gemini A cake, some candles, and a few token gifts will soon mark your passage into an exciting new demographic.Cancer Though you're getting pretty good at interpreting your dreams, you're still piss-poor at interpreting things that happen when you're awake.Leo The story of your life has been quiet so far, but don't worry: They've decided to cut out a bunch of boring exposition and get right to the final bloody chase scene.Virgo Your decision to go back to nature conveniently ignores the fact that you're not from nature, but Los Angeles.Libra Being a parent is a new challenge every day. The specific challenge next Monday is explaining why you had to nail the puppies to the ceiling-fan blades.Scorpio After sleeping with someone who is not your spouse, you will suffer horrible guilt, which would be understandable if you were married.Sagittarius You're known as a really decent character. This is because you are a D&D character named Gryth The Decent.Capricorn James Joyce's Ulysses put forth the idea that every one of us is a hero just for getting through an average day in our lives. Congratulations, hero.Aquarius It's said that life is like a bowl of cherries. But for most people, the metaphor breaks down faster than it does for you.Pisces It turns out that intellectual awareness of the consequences of putting your hand in a meat grinder is very different from the actual experience.