Horoscope for the week of March 17, 1999

Horoscope ISSUE 35•10 Mar 17, 1999
  • Aries Stop blaming your problems on the people in your life. Blame various government agencies instead.
  • Taurus You've considered becoming many things in your life, but you'll be truly surprised to wind up becoming this season's hot new pie filling.
  • Gemini Despite everything you will experience this week, take heart: Not all mustachioed, top-hat-wearing gentlemen tie Geminis to railroad tracks.
  • Cancer Be careful. Someone you know has fallen under the influence of an illogical, self-contradictory Middle Eastern religion.
  • Leo Your long-standing fear of flowing water will be tragically vindicated on Tuesday.
  • Virgo All the world loves a lover. Up to a point, that is, and providing, of course, he or she has permission.
  • Libra After years of hard work and clawing your way to the top of your profession, the powers that be will finally grant you a lamp and a new dry-erase board.
  • Scorpio There are more important things in life than the new Star Wars movie, but not in your particular life.
  • Sagittarius Don't worry, somebody out there loves you. With any luck, the authorities should have him in custody very soon.
  • Capricorn There will always be people who doubt your vision and laugh derisively at your dream. That is, after all, what makes this country great.
  • Aquarius Though your best years are behind you, take comfort in the fact that your worst years are nearly behind you, as well.
  • Pisces You will be overcome this week by the feeling that the stars are speaking directly to you, Nikki Britton of DeKalb Avenue, Brooklyn, NY.