Horoscope for the week of March 24, 1999

Horoscope ISSUE 35•11 Mar 24, 1999
  • Aries At long last, you finally achieve total domination of the woodwind section of the Berlin Philharmonic.
  • Taurus Don't worry: There's nothing wrong with your outlook, career plans or enormous set of antlers.
  • Gemini All your deepest hopes and dreams will finally come true this week for someone other than yourself.
  • Cancer Long airplane, car or boat trips may signal travel for adventurous Cancer this week.
  • Leo This would be a bad time to discontinue your practice of firing several warning shots through every closed door you encounter.
  • Virgo This is your time: Stop even pretending to be the selfless, giving person everyone knows you’re not.
  • Libra Fortune passes everywhere this week. However, it passes you so quickly that you may be badly hurt.
  • Scorpio It would be best if you didn't leave the house this week. Candice Bergen is still out there, and she has a long, long memory.
  • Sagittarius The stars have seen you gazing up at them, and they now answer your unspoken question: Yes, they are real.
  • Capricorn Contrary to the predictions of several experts, you will actually find it rather simple to breed in captivity.
  • Aquarius Take time out to consider your own mortality this week, but be sure to do it before your Friday-morning train ride.
  • Pisces This is an illusion. Make good use of your time, Buddy Boy.