Horoscope for the week of May 26, 2004

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Aries Friends will marvel at your transformation from a dumpy stay-at-home into the Italian Baroque-style Saengre Theater, New Orleans' premier venue for classical concerts and Broadway musicals.

Taurus You're growing tired of the same routine week in and week out, but, hey, that's a three- to nine-year counterfeiting sentence for you.

Gemini You'll be awakened Wednesday by jackhammer-like pains in your skull, which will turn out to be a singularly apt simile.

Cancer When your worst enemy meets her demise under the wheels of a cement truck, you'll be happy you made the effort of enlisting 16 people to help get it into her bedroom.

Leo It turns out that "different" may be followed by "than" as long as the word introduces a clause, but that doesn't mean you have to like it.

Virgo The discovery of long-lost aviatrix Amelia Earhart will leave you with a hell of a lot of explaining to do.

Libra You're honestly trying to rid yourself of preconceived ideas, but it seems to be slowing down your day-to-day life.

Scorpio Sometimes it feels like true happiness slipped past you in an instant. In reality, it crept by slowly, taking extreme care not to be seen.

Sagittarius You should explore new conversational tactics. Trapping people in a pincer formation of battle tanks is proving socially awkward.

Capricorn You won't be acting especially smug when it happens, but a 100-mile-per-hour sandstorm will still wipe that smile right off your face.

Aquarius It will be difficult to persuade people to listen to your arguments, but you're profoundly certain that there are things a Klingon commander would simply never say.

Pisces There's an adage that says it's better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it still comes as a surprise that those are your only choices.

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Horoscope for the week of June ... » (June 2, 2004)

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