Horoscope for the week of November 24, 1999

Horoscope ISSUE 35•43 Nov 24, 1999
  • Aries Don't be too quick to judge others this week. Except, of course, for figure skaters, with whom you have a long history of leniency.
  • Taurus You will experience a magical adventure in a world of beauty and wonder when your local Fox affiliate proudly presents the Robin Williams film Jumanji.
  • Gemini You can't afford to turn your back on that collapsing romance or office building.
  • Cancer Please stop telling that tasteless joke about Linda McCartney. It wasn't funny the first time.
  • Leo Try not to take yourself too seriously this week. God knows nobody else does.
  • Virgo You will become a national celebrity this week when the government decides that you are the common enemy against whom the American people will unite.
  • Libra The stars say you will go through some tough times later this week. What they're not telling you, however, is just how tough, which is the really good part.
  • Scorpio Next week sees the exciting return of Andrew, which is pretty darn exciting if you know him.
  • Sagittarius Sagittarius may be the archer, but if it could be any car, it'd be a Corvette.
  • Capricorn You know that wonderful, loving person who has been waiting so long to be let into your heart? Well, that sap isn't about to go away any time soon.
  • Aquarius Hold out for what you want this week, but be reasonable: If you get most of what you asked for, let the kids and the old folks go free.
  • Pisces Remember: "Look before you leap" doesn't apply to situations like yours, in which the goal is dramatic suicide.