0HOUSTON—The frustrating paperwork for a routine visit to St. Luke's Episcopal Hospital reduced Kenneth Anderson's reading comprehension to a first-grade level Monday, forcing the 39-year-old sales associate to slowly sound out each syllable and use his finger to follow along with the words. "Man, this stuff is really hard," said Anderson, on the verge of a reading-related tantrum for the first time since struggling with Frog And Toad Are Friends at age 6. "'Pro-phy-lax-is'…. What does that even mean?" Anderson's math skills also plummeted as he strained to figure out how the number on his hospital bill could be so high.
More News in Brief
Nation Excited To See Whatever Bile The Internet Spews Up Today
WASHINGTON—According to reports, the American people are currently rubbing their hands in anticipation for whatever vile, disgusting garbage the internet will eventually puke up ...
Scientific Breakthrough Reveals Stars Consist Primarily Of Twinkles
WASHINGTON—In a breakthrough study that experts say completely reshapes our understanding of the cosmos, a team of astrophysicists at Oxford University have discovered that ...
Last 12 Years A Real Wake-Up Call For Area Man
SAGINAW, MI—Saying he had been “shaken up pretty badly” after hitting rock bottom from 2001 to 2013, local man Phillip Garvey, 41, told reporters ...
