0MARYSVILLE, OH—Union County Humane Society volunteer Catherine Moncrief, 23, admitted Monday that a small part of her was glad to see Oscar, a nippy, hyperactive dachshund, put to sleep. "I feel really guilty, but when they euthanized him, I was kind of like, 'Ha, ha—serves you right, you obnoxious little shit,'" Moncrief said. "I went through a whole bottle of hydrogen peroxide in two weeks from feeding and washing him." Moncrief then privately mused that the incessantly whimpering cocker in Cage 12 could go next for all she cares.
More News in Brief
Ahmadinejad Signs On As Dean At Sarah Lawrence
BRONXVILLE, NY—Building on a decades-long career serving government and academic institutions in his home country, outgoing Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad officially accepted a position ...
Nation Admits It Always A Little Bored By Whole Jimmy Hoffa Thing
‘Why Is This Fascinating Again?’ Populace Asks
DETROIT—Following reports today that a new tip has prompted a renewed FBI search for the body of Jimmy Hoffa, the U.S.
Syrian Rebels, Government Think It’s About Time To Call Syria A Day
DAMASCUS—Two years into a devastating civil war that has left nearly 100,000 dead, caused incalculable destruction, and all but ruined the prospects of ...
