-
  • Carlos Beltran First Player To Homer From Three Sides Of The Plate
  • Reggie Bush Listed As Product For Sale On Nike's Web Site
  • Tim Tebow Impressing Broncos With Absence
  • Success Of I'll Have Another Making Nation's Other 3-Year-Olds Feel Inadequate
  • Pau Gasol Blamed For Making Kobe Bryant Sound Like Asshole
  • Bryce Harper Asks Manager Where Bats Come From

Sports News in Brief

Hush Falls Over Patriots Camp As Tom Brady's First 10 Passes Go 3 Yards

August 4, 2009 | ISSUE 45•31

FOXBOROUGH, MA—Excitement surrounding the return of quarterback Tom Brady devolved into mute panic Thursday as each of Brady’s first 10 passes barely made it to the line of scrimmage. "Oh, God," said Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, breaking the silence that fell across the assembled players, coaches, and legions of fans who had just witnessed Brady’s ninth pass flutter slowly from his limp hand and land between his own feet. "Who’s our backup? Does anyone know who our backup is?" When asked for comment, wide receiver Randy Moss said he doesn’t care how poorly Brady throws the ball as long at it rolls in his direction.
Video
The Onion

[x] Click to close

© Copyright 2012, Onion, Inc. All rights reserved.

Follow The Onion

Sign Up For The Newsletter

Daily Weekly Video

Other Options: