I Still Ain't Sure About This Socialism MedicineCommentary • doctors • Opinion • healthcare • ISSUE 46•16 • Apr 22, 2010 By Jim Anchower – The Cruise Hola, amigos. How's tricks? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I been chasing my tail like a retard dog these days. I've been working plenty of hours at the warehouse discount place. I even got a little overtime. We were short-staffed because a bunch of people were out sick back in November, so they made me stand up front and look at people's receipts.I actually wound up getting into it with some guy because he told me I didn't need to check his receipt, and I said bullshit I didn't and that he should get his ass back here, otherwise I would have to take him down. He went for it, so I went for it, and a manager came and had to break us up. I didn't punch the guy or anything, but I wasn't going to let him disrespect me like that, because I was right and he was being a dick.After that, they decided they didn't want me working with people, so they moved me to the bakery. Now I'm learning how to bake things, mostly chocolate-chip muffins. It's funny because the only thing Jim Anchower can cook is hard-boiled eggs and bacon. I really like using the big mixer. It's pretty fucking baller. If I could, I'd get one for my house so I could work on some new muffin tricks on my own.On top of that, I've been making a little extra cash picking up old metal stuff and selling it to scrap places. I drive around town and when I see any old metal railings or used aluminum siding being thrown out, I just pull over, put the seat down, and throw it in the back. Then, when the car is all full, I just take her to the recycling place off the highway.But I'm starting to think big with it. I'm saving up my money to buy a cart and a trailer hitch. That way, I don't have to go to the recycling place every week. I can just unload it into a pile in the backyard and then take a cartload in once a month. I haven't cleared it with my roommates, but I'm sure they'll be cool with it. It's going to save me a ton on gas, plus having a car full of metal kind of sucks if I want to take a honey out for a night on the town. It hasn't happened yet, but spring is here, so ya never know.I had to put my new business on hold for a while, though. I was on my way home from work one day when I hit the jackpot. There was a radiator and an old stove, just sitting there on the curb, waiting for someone to come by and take them. All I had to do was load them into the Festiva.I hoisted the radiator in there no problem, but it took up more room than I expected. I thought about dropping it off at home, then coming back for the stove, but then this dude in an old beat-up pickup truck with the plywood sides passed by real slow. I knew that the moment I pulled away, that guy was gonna swoop in and pick up the stove that was rightfully mine. There was no way I was letting that happen, so I started trying to cram it in the hatchback.The thing is, you can fit a lot of stuff in a Festiva, but I don't think you're supposed to. I had the stove partway up on the bumper on its side, but it wasn't going in. I figured that all I had to do was get it at least halfway in, though. Then, so long as I drove slow and didn't hit any serious bumpage, I'd be set. That's when the stove slipped and landed right on my foot.Now, I ain't some kind of pussy when it comes to getting hit with stuff. I've had all sorts of cuts, scrapes, bruises, gouges, you name it. And as a guy that likes to work on his own car, all kinds of stuff lands on my foot and I never said shit. But I ain't gonna lie, that stove hurt like a bitch. Once I got it off my foot, I sat on the curb for a few minutes trying to catch my breath. I got up to walk it off, but I wound up falling back down because a fucking stove just fell on my foot.After like 10 minutes, I was able to get up and hobble to my car. I left the stove in the street because I didn't really want it that bad anymore. All I wanted was to put my foot up and get some Miller Genuine Draft in me to ease the pain. It took some doing, but I finally managed to pick up a 12-pack, make it home, and sit down to take off my shoes.Only problem was, my shoe wasn't coming off. My foot swole up so much that I couldn't budge the fucker. So I kept it on, thinking the pain would pass and the swelling would go down. But after four hours, it got so bad that I had to go to the emergency room. I practically had to crawl to the Festiva, and I couldn't put a lot of pressure on my gas foot, so I drove 10 miles an hour the whole way there.I parked right by the entrance, because I could barely walk. I guess I passed out right after I started filling out paperwork, because the next thing I know, I'm in a hospital bed with a doctor cutting my shoe off. Turns out I busted the hell out of my foot, and they had to do some kind of operation on it. I had to get one of those boot casts and a pair of crutches, too.It really sucks. Sure, I got a doctor's excuse to stay off my feet for a while, but I also got this $4,000 emergency room bill. Plus they towed my car away from the front of the hospital, because I guess only ambulances can park there, so I had to pay a $200 impound fee. I tried to tell them I couldn't walk and that was the only way I could get into the emergency room, but they didn't care. Fucking parking pigs, man.So I guess they passed this health care, and I was against it for a while, because I don't think socialism is good for America. But really, I don't know how the hell else I am going to pay off this emergency room bill. I'd have to find a lot of stoves to sell, and they ain't exactly growing on trees. So I just have to find out how I can use this health care to pay off my debt so I can go back to being a productive member of society that can buy shit. You know, spread the money around a little. And not just to the hospital, who should know better than to take advantage of a guy with a broke-ass foot.