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    In Depth: Hurricane Sandy

    Slideshow • News • ISSUE 48•44 • Nov 2, 2012
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    • Hurricane Gives Holed-Up Couple Great Chance To Have All Those Fights They've Been Avoiding

      NEW YORK—Holed up in their apartment while Hurricane Sandy continues its path up the East Coast, local couple Tim Zucchino, 29, and Helen Powell, 27, told reporters today they were glad to finally get a chance to have all those bitter and tense argu...
      1 of 9
    • 20 Idiots Evacuated From Times Square M&M's Store

      NEW YORK—With Hurricane Sandy pounding New York City with powerful winds and a dangerous storm surge Monday, emergency workers were mobilized quickly to evacuate 20 colossal morons from the M&M’s World store in Times Square.
      2 of 9
    • Misinformed Man Riding Out Storm In Bathtub Filled With Batteries

      BROOKLYN, NY—Saying that “you can’t be too prepared,” Brooklyn resident and seriously misinformed man Jason Randolph told reporters today he plans to get through Hurricane Sandy by riding out the storm in a bathtub full of batterie...
      3 of 9
    • New Jersey Residents Avoid Rising Floodwater By Climbing To Top Of Chris Christie

      EWING, NJ—Heeding the instructions of state officials and emergency personnel, thousands of New Jersey residents were able to escape Hurricane Sandy’s devastating floodwaters Monday by ascending to the crest of Gov.
      4 of 9
    • Mom Just Called To Make Sure You're Not Under That Dangling Crane

      BOISE, ID—Calling to check on him for the fourth consecutive morning amid reports of the dangers posed by Hurricane Sandy, local mom Mary Canfield expressed relief Tuesday after learning her son in New York wasn’t underneath that crane that...
      5 of 9
    • Lone Doofus Has Been Waiting 36 Hours For Next C Train

      BROOKLYN, NY—Despite the fact that all New York City subway service has been shut down since Sunday night due to Hurricane Sandy, area doofus Matt Crumskey has reportedly spent the past 36 hours waiting for the next C train to arrive at the Broadway...
      6 of 9
    • Report: Only Way Nation Will Pay Attention To Climate Change Is If Julia Roberts Dies In Hurricane

      TALLAHASSEE, FL—As the nation recovers from Hurricane Sandy, Florida State University researchers released a report Wednesday revealing that the only circumstance in which Americans would ever pay any attention at all to the issue of climate change ...
      7 of 9
    • Nation Suddenly Realizes This Just Going To Be A Thing That Happens From Now On

      NEW YORK—Following Hurricane Sandy’s destructive tear through the Northeast this week, the nation’s 300 million citizens looked upon the trail of devastation and fully realized, for the first time, that this is just going to be something...
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    • Romney Pitches In To Repair Thousands Of Downed Romney-Ryan Lawn Signs

      MANTOLOKING, NJ—Saying he had been deeply shaken by the extent of Hurricane Sandy’s destruction, Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney visited the storm-battered mid-Atlantic coast Thursday to help victims repair and re-erect thousands o...
      9 of 9
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