Injury-Free U.S. Team Deems World Baseball Classic 'A Complete Success'
ANAHEIM, CA—Players on Team USA, along with MLB owners
and managers, rejoiced Thursday night following their final game of the World
Baseball Classic, a 2-1 loss to Mexico, as the Americans came out of the
tournament safe, sound, and in one piece. "There is an amazing sense of
accomplishment among these healthy, injury-free players. Wearing this uniform,
and not getting hurt while inside of it, will be something these players are
going to remember for the rest of the regular season," said Team USA manager
Buck Martinez while helping each player navigate an awkward step up into the
clubhouse. "We didn't emerge victorious, but we did emerge completely
unscathed. I say we are the real winners here." Following their elimination
from harm's way, Martinez joined his 30 healthy players in a cautious
locker-room celebration, during which they gingerly spritzed shatterproof
plastic bottles of champagne on each other.



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