Is Ellen Gay?
All of America is talking about comedian Ellen DeGeneres, whose television character on ABC's Ellen may reveal herself to be a lesbian this season. What do you think?
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Ellen DeGeneres? More like Ellen Degenerate, if you ask me!
Alison Landsman
Bank Manager -
I've suspected her character was gay ever since that episode where she ferociously ate out that secretary.
Don Steffens
Limnologist -
Thanks to Ellen and Melissa Etheridge, a valuable lesson has been learned: Gay people can be just as mediocre and untalented as straights.
Kevin Byrne
Receptionist -
I think that whatever anyone does behind closed doors is his or her own business, unless the kangaroo's bleating keeps the neighbors up at night.
Acker Bilk
Systems Analyst -
Everybody here at the ABC women's rugby team knows Ellen quite well, and I can assure you there's no truth to those rumors.
Kelly Howe
Groundskeeper -
Forget Ellen—have you heard the rumor that that guy on Martin is a colored?
Andy LaPointe
Stockbroker
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