JERUSALEM—In a historic speech before the U.N. Tuesday, newly elected Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu unveiled a comprehensive plan to extend political discord and senseless violence in the Middle East through the next 25 years. Key elements of the 60-page road map include a symbolic and ultimately fruitless 2010 regional summit, a tenuous cease-fire that will be violently broken mid-autumn by an as-yet-unnamed splinter group, a series of hope-shattering assassinations, and two untimely comas. "I intend to lead the nation of Israel out of this senseless, bitter fighting and chaos, and into a new era of organized, carefully thought-out fighting and chaos," Netanyahu said. "If Israelis and Arabs work together, we can put off lasting peace indefinitely." Sources close to the prime minister indicated that Netanyahu would be willing to consider Palestinian statehood if such a move led to a full-scale Mideast war.
More News in Brief
Nation Currently More Sympathetic To Demise Of Planet Krypton Than Plight Of Syria
WASHINGTON—According to a national poll conducted by the Pew Research Center Monday, the vast majority of Americans are currently more concerned about the demise ...
New Documentary To Finally Shed Light On Nation’s Fast Food Chains
WASHINGTON—Americans across the country expressed their excitement Wednesday over the upcoming release of Value Meal, a feature-length documentary that will, at long last, shed ...
After One Realizes Methadone Clinic Nearby, Behavior Around City Block Makes Sense
NEW YORK—Though he was once confused by the number of frail, seemingly mentally unstable people concentrated around the Houston and Broadway area of Manhattan ...



0
