-
  • Carlos Beltran First Player To Homer From Three Sides Of The Plate
  • Reggie Bush Listed As Product For Sale On Nike's Web Site
  • Tim Tebow Impressing Broncos With Absence
  • Success Of I'll Have Another Making Nation's Other 3-Year-Olds Feel Inadequate
  • Pau Gasol Blamed For Making Kobe Bryant Sound Like Asshole
  • Bryce Harper Asks Manager Where Bats Come From

Sports News in Brief

Jason Kidd Given 1997 Chevy Lumina For Making 10,000th Assist

March 5, 2009 | ISSUE 45•10

DALLAS—After dishing out his 10,000th career assist Sunday, Dallas Mavericks point guard Jason Kidd was given a used white 1997 Chevy Lumina fully equipped with a sunroof and an AM-FM radio-cassette player. "Jason, congratulations," teammate Dirk Nowitzki said while he and three other Maverick players pushed the car to center court. "Transmission needs a rebuild, paint job's okay from 10 feet, and she might have 167,000 miles on her, but that just means she's broken in. Jason, thanks for passing the ball a lot to people who can score." Former Utah Jazz guard John Stockton received a similar honor in 1995 when his team recognized his career achievements by awarding him a $50 gift certificate to Sam Goody and an arm's length of 50-50 raffle tickets.

The Onion

[x] Click to close

© Copyright 2012, Onion, Inc. All rights reserved.