149ers Head Coach
Strength: Army of large men who will do whatever he says; Innovative play screamer; One of the NFL’s best at picking quarterbacks, unpicking quarterbacks, picking other quarterbacks
Strategy: Always scripts first 15 outbursts of game; balances offense with mix of throwing tantrums and running mouth off about officiating
Clipboard Holding Style: Inverse Lancaster
Feelings On Making It To First Super Bowl: Absolutely furious
Childhood Hero: Jim Harbaugh
Best NFL Memory: Being backup for Ryan Leaf on 2000 Chargers team
Coaching Idol: 3rd-century obsidian sculpture of serpentine clock management god
Hat Size: Only wears flex-fit hats to allow room for rage-swelling
Style: Physical, smash-mouth bitching at referees
