CorrectionsOpinion ISSUE 48•36 Sep 5, 2012

Last Monday The Onion stated that it was a holiday when, in fact, it wasn’t. We apologize to all those who lost their jobs.

More Corrections

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Last Tuesday, The Onion accidentally printed a photo of a nun feeding an apple to a horse everywhere a photo belonged.

The Birthday Girl

An article yesterday repeatedly referred to Hillary Clinton as “the birthday girl.” This was unprofessional and entirely inaccurate.

We're So Sorry

The Onion apologizes for its failure to meet the oh-so-high editorial standards of a genius such as yourself.