Ravens Quarterback

Strength: Teammates; Complete lack of control of arm strength and accuracy make conditions for lucky throws perfect; Does pretty hilarious impression of a quarterback

Weakness: Tends to trick self with fake handoffs; Compulsive need to touch football on every offensive play drives teammates crazy

Awareness: Highly accurate at pointing out the blitzing defender who will sack him

Athletic Ability: Elusiveness to successfully evade praise, respect, or adoration

Skill: Amazing at pulling incredibly lucky touchdowns out of his ass

Favorite Word To Shout Pre-Snap: Rover

Toughness: Willing to play through excruciating pain of a deeply bruised ego

NEXT: Anquan Boldin