NEW YORK—In a move that will revolutionize the work of dietitians and health scientists worldwide, Mademoiselle editor Vincent D’Meretin revealed plans Monday to publish a long-awaited list of “10 Ways to Flatten Your Tummy” in the June issue of the popular women’s magazine. The list will offer vital, never-before-known diet and exercise advice that could, if followed properly, take inches of unwanted fat off the tummy area. “I eagerly await this information,” San Francisco dietitian Mar-garet Loen said. “As a professional dietitian, I am unaware of any methods to reduce the fat content of the human body over a several-week period.”
More News in Brief
Everyone Forgets To Bring Swimsuits To Coworker’s Party
'What Are The Odds?' Pasty, Flabby Colleagues Say
ARLINGTON, TX—While gathered for a party at a coworker’s backyard pool Saturday, out-of-shape colleagues at Shuster, Layne & Associates were struck by the coincidence ...
Coworker Who Went To Gym This Morning A Chipper Little Fucker
BROOKLYN, NY—Running his hands through his freshly showered hair while hanging his backpack on the back of his chair, unbearably chipper little motherfucker Dave ...
Call From Daycare Can't Be Good
HARRISBURG, PA—Speculating that the rest of her day will now definitely take a turn for the worse, local mother Nicole Mendlow confirmed Friday that ...




0

