Due to budget cuts, The Onion is only able to list today's low
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking

    Kent Sulak

    Unsung Heroes • Local • ISSUE 49•02 • Jan 10, 2013
    • Facebook18
    • Twitter66
    • Google Plus1

    Kent Sulak, 47, tethered a large wooden paddle to the men’s room key so no one would walk off with it again.

    More Unsung Heroes

    Nancy Sullivan

    Nancy Sullivan pulled an all-nighter and didn’t tell anyone.

    Paul Houseman

    Paul Houseman, 42, stuck to his wife’s shopping list and refrained from buying a bag of Bugles, even though he really wanted to make ...

    Oscillating Fan

    Oscillating fan is ready to cool some rooms.

    Recent News

    Nation Currently More Sympathetic To Demise Of Planet Krypton Than Plight Of SyriaNew Documentary To Finally Shed Light On Nation’s Fast Food ChainsAfter One Realizes Methadone Clinic Nearby, Behavior Around City Block Makes SenseEcstatic American Indians Praise 'The Lone Ranger'Fully Leveled-Up Video Game Character Marvels At How Far He's ComeAudience At Press Conference Relieved To Hear Steps Will Be TakenKidnapping Going Pretty Smoothly

    Recent Videos

    Will Season Four Of ‘Downton Abbey’ Finally Show The Wizards Using Their Powers?

    The Onion Looks Back At 'The Wizard Of Oz'Single Woman Has Facebook Profile Picture With Sister

    • Film: Newswire: James Gandolfini has died

    • TV: Newswire: UPDATE: Paula Deen reportedly cooks up a platter of crispy, Southern-fried racism

    • Great Job, Internet!: Entertainment Weekly asks: Kanye West lyric or Lucille Bluth quote?

    • I Hate Whatever Today Is Mug

    • WTF Stamp

    • Bi-Curious George: An Unauthorized Parody

    • How To Survive Being Shot Point Blank In The Chest - Dr. Good - Ep 7.

    • Will Season Four Of 'Downton Abbey' Finally Show The Wizards Using Their Powers?

    • A.V. Undercover: Alpine Covers Radiohead

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved