LEXINGTON, KY—In a major paleontological breakthrough, scientists at the Sanders Institute have successfully reconstructed a 24-piece KFC party bucket believed to date from as far back as last Thursday. "Using the bones of the leg retrieved from the Jonesboro dig, we have rebuilt this bucket, which appears to have once contained nine thighs and seven breasts," team leader Dr. Bryce Wallace said. "We also gathered data which may provide clues as to what cole-slaw sides and sporks looked like in those days."