Ugh, Christ, this again?
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking

    Law Enforcement

    Slideshow • police • justice • ISSUE 46•35 ISSUE 43•17 • Apr 25, 2007
    • Facebook775
    • Twitter63
    • Google Plus0
    • Local Sheriff Suspects Al-Qaeda Or Teens

      BARABOO, WI—Sauk County Sheriff Virgil "Butch" Steinhorst announced Tuesday that he believes a recent rash of Baraboo-area crimes was perpetrated by the al-Qaeda terrorist network or teenagers.
      1 of 10
    • Police Baffled By Bottle-Shaped Paper Bag

      BRIDGEPORT, CT—Law-enforcement officials were confounded by a mysterious bottle-shaped paper bag Monday.
      2 of 10
    • 'Six Flags Killer' Still At Large, Say Souvenir-Bedecked Police

      GURNEE, IL—Police have been looking for clues at every ride, game, snack bar, gift shop, and photo-sticker booth.
      3 of 10
    • Good Cop, Bad Cop Both Racist

      LOS ANGELES—Despite occupying opposing roles in a good-cop/bad-cop dyad, LAPD officers Frank K. McGrew, 51, and Bob West, 36, have one thing in common: They're both extremely racist, 77th precinct sources reported Monday.
      4 of 10
    • Law Enforcement Officials Call For Creation Of Bulletproof Sleeves

      DETROIT—Citing decades of advancements in torso protection, the National Association of Law Enforcement Officials held a press conference Monday, calling for the development of a bulletproof sleeve.
      5 of 10
    • Investigators Blame Stupidity In Area Death

      WHEATLEY, AR—Police are fairly certain the deceased was operating under the influence of being an unbelievable dumbass.
      6 of 10
    • LAPD Discovers Hidden Deformed Olsen Triplet

      LOS ANGELES—A ragged, misshapen girl was rescued from the squalid basement of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's residence.
      7 of 10
    • Vigilante Cop Acts As Judge, Jury, Prosecuting Attorney, Bailiff, Stenographer, Executioner

      OAKLAND, CA—
      8 of 10
    • Crime Scene Used To Be Cool

      LOS ANGELES—Once people started showing up and the traffic cops fucked up the evidence, the once-cool alley was rendered totally lame.
      9 of 10
    • Male Bonding Leads To Bail Bonding

      10 of 10
    • More Slideshows

      Start Over
      • Canines

      • Parents

      • Health & Fitness

      • The Basket-ball

      • War In Iraq

    Recently in Slideshow See More >

    NEWS

    ENTERTAINMENT

    ENTERTAINMENT

    LIFESTYLE

    NEWS

    LIFESTYLE

    Recent News

    Scientific Breakthrough Reveals Stars Consist Primarily Of TwinklesLast 12 Years A Real Wake-Up Call For Area ManArea Man Beginning To Think He Has Memorial Day OffReport: Texting While Driving Okay If You Look Up Every Couple Seconds3-Day Weekend Practically Already OverBiden Investigated For Questionable Workers’ Comp ClaimGay Kid Excited To Be Made Fun Of For Second Thing

    Recent Videos

    Desperate Earth Begins Accelerating Rotation In Effort To Hurl Humankind Off Surface

    Xbox One Capable Of Controlling Users With Simple Voice CommandsObama Aims To Limit Civilian Casualties With Switch To Taser Drones

    • Games: The Gameological Society: Here's what we know about the Xbox One--and what we don't--courtesy of the Gameological Bulletin

    • Newswire: Weekend Box Office: America spends its holiday driving, and watching people drive

    • Music: Newswire: Stone Temple Pilots sue Scott Weiland, whose feelings are hurt by the whole thing

    • How to Traumatize Your Children Book

    • Assorted Headlines Pint Glasses

    • Cheat to Win Bracelet

    • Government-Issued PSA Urging Teens To Fuck Their Brains Out

    • Best of Onion Sports: OSN Tackles Underreported Sports

    • Xbox One Capable Of Controlling Users With Simple Voice Commands

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Onion News Empire
    • The Onion Live!
    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved