0CHICAGO—A lesser piece of paper—one of no practical use and little overall consequence—was employed Monday to test out the viability of a nearby pen. According to sources, the inferior sheet of paper was specifically chosen to test out the ball-point writing instrument, as it possessed six continuous inches of clear space, was located within arm's reach, and could be immediately disposed of after its intended use. As of press time, sources revealed that the lesser sheet of paper is actually a 40-page master's thesis belonging to roommate Mark Dixon.
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