With Major League Baseball handing out its 2008 seasonal awards this week, Onion Sports runs down the more obscure offerings:

The John Kruk Award: Given to the first baseman with the highest batting average and one testicle

Hardware House Inc. Tarp of the Year Award: Goes to the year's most effective tarp

The Jim Abbott Award: Honors the player with the highest OPS in the National League

Tums Trophy: Bestowed upon the player with the most-improved digestion in the league

Player of the Inning Pen: Awarded every inning of each game to the player who best exemplifies that inning

The Wade Boggs Award: Trophy presented to any third baseman who catches at least one fly ball during the regular season

Batter of the Future Award: Recognizes each league's best guy on deck

Participant of the Year: Conferred upon the last few players not to get awards