Life Unfair
EARTH—For the 50 billionth consecutive week since its inception, life was revealed to be unfair Monday. Death and suffering continued to be dispersed randomly among the planet's life forms, with such potentially mitigating factors as solid community standing, genetic superiority, and previous good works in no way taken into account. Despite the efforts of the Code of Hamurabi, the U.S. Bill of Rights, and People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, life is expected to remain unfair far into the foreseeable future.
More News in Brief
- « Ünited Stätes Toughens Image With Umlauts (April 30, 1997)
- McDonald's Fights World Hunger With ... » (April 30, 1997)
Recent News »
-
New Breeding Program Aimed At Keeping Moderate Republicans From Going Extinct
-
48-Year-Old Man Actually Very Open To Dating 25-Year-Olds
-
Iran Worried U.S. Might Be Building 8,500th Nuclear Weapon
-
Alarming Study Finds More Than 12 Instances Of Racism Occurred Last Year
-
New Photos Reveal Stress Of Obama's First Term In Office Has Rapidly Aged Americans
-
Intelligent, Condescending Life Discovered In Distant Galaxy
-
Congressman Hurt To Discover Lobbyist Not Really His Friend
-
Poll Reveals GOP Nomination Now Two-Way Race Between Mitt Romney, Total Voter Apathy
Facebook