Dear The Onion,
I just love the articles written by columnist Lindsay Tan. Her expositions are enthralling, her adjective choices sublime, and her sentence structures flow smoothly before curling deliciously at their ends, just like the auburn tresses visible in her op-ed headshot. Have you ever thought about running full-body images of your op-ed columnists, you know, just to mix things up?
Gary Adams, Franconia, NH