WASHINGTON, DC—In a special ceremony at the White House Monday, Madeline Albright was sworn in as the nation's 43rd U.S. Secretary, the highest government position ever held by a woman. President Clinton praised Albright, citing her excellent organizational skills and pleasant phone voice. "Miss Albright will make an excellent Secretary," Clinton told the assembled reporters. "As a pioneer in the receptionist field, she is an inspiration to young women everywhere." Clinton vowed that Albright would make the timely serving of coffee her "top priority." Albright's other duties will include some light typing and filing. Albright left a similar position in the principal's office at Lakeview Junior High School in Rockville, MD, to accept the U.S. Secretary post.
More News in Brief
Everyone Forgets To Bring Swimsuits To Coworker’s Party
'What Are The Odds?' Pasty, Flabby Colleagues Say
ARLINGTON, TX—While gathered for a party at a coworker’s backyard pool Saturday, out-of-shape colleagues at Shuster, Layne & Associates were struck by the coincidence ...
Coworker Who Went To Gym This Morning A Chipper Little Fucker
BROOKLYN, NY—Running his hands through his freshly showered hair while hanging his backpack on the back of his chair, unbearably chipper little motherfucker Dave ...
Call From Daycare Can't Be Good
HARRISBURG, PA—Speculating that the rest of her day will now definitely take a turn for the worse, local mother Nicole Mendlow confirmed Friday that ...




0

