WASHINGTON, DC—The Mafia announced Monday that after more than 50 years of close relations, the powerful crime organization is breaking off ties with the CIA. "Our partnership with the CIA has been extremely productive over the years, resulting in many great accomplishments, including the Kennedy and Martin Luther King assassinations, the creation of Las Vegas, and the near-overthrow of the Castro regime," Mafia official Joseph "Joey" Tucci said. "Unfortunately, that partnership is no longer effective." Tucci denied any Mafia involvement in the 1991 cancellation of The Days and Nights of Molly Dodd.