0LOS ANGELES—In a tone usually reserved only for life-threatening circumstances, a fully grown man repeatedly raised his voice Monday in order to intimidate another fully grown man into producing a light-hearted, 86-minute Jennifer Aniston film. "I will ruin you!" roared the first man, literally threatening a fellow human being in an effort to get the quirky romantic comedy about a small-town pastry chef made. "I will fucking kill you!" Sources reported the two men continued violently shouting at each other for 15 minutes, and then resumed their racquetball game.
More News in Brief
Father Excitedly Tells 10-Year-Old Son About New Video Game System
WEST HAVEN, CT—Following Microsoft’s official unveiling of their latest video game console Tuesday, 41-year-old father of two Richard Shearer excitedly told his son ...
2013 Year In Review Photo Essay Shaping Up To Be Quite Horrific
WASHINGTON—Citing a succession of tragedies that have darkened the majority of 2013, including the Boston Marathon bombing, the Bangladeshi garment building collapse, and yesterday ...
Man Derives Depressing Amount Of Pride From Hometown Burger Chain
AMARILLO, TX—Frequently mentioning the fact that his hometown of Corpus Christi, TX also happens to be the birthplace of Whataburger, local 31-year-old Chad Derringer ...
