Man With Hammer-Induced Thumb Injury Appeals To Christ Almighty
MANHATTAN, KS—In his third hammer-induced communion with the Son of God in as many days, local resident Bart Peintner made a vociferous appeal to Lord Jesus Christ Almighty Monday following a blunt ball-peen-hammer blow to his left thumb. "Holy Jesus Christ Almighty in Heaven!" said Peintner, who was repairing a chair at the time of the thumb injury/spiritual communion. Added Peintner: "Jesus Fucking Christ!" Spokespersons for Fucking Christ were unavailable for comment at press time.
More News in Brief
- « Enormous Grace Slick Threatens California Coastline (December 3, 1997)
- CBS Picks Up NBC Nightly News » (December 3, 1997)
Recent News »
-
48-Year-Old Man Actually Very Open To Dating 25-Year-Olds
-
Iran Worried U.S. Might Be Building 8,500th Nuclear Weapon
-
Alarming Study Finds More Than 12 Instances Of Racism Occurred Last Year
-
New Photos Reveal Stress Of Obama's First Term In Office Has Rapidly Aged Americans
-
Intelligent, Condescending Life Discovered In Distant Galaxy
-
Congressman Hurt To Discover Lobbyist Not Really His Friend
-
Poll Reveals GOP Nomination Now Two-Way Race Between Mitt Romney, Total Voter Apathy
-
'Huffington Post' Employee Sucked Into Aggregation Turbine
Facebook