PITTSFIELD, MA– Days after purchasing a new Coleman Powermate 2500 portable generator, homeowner Randy Denton expressed hope for a power outage Monday. "Man, a huge, citywide blackout would be fantastic," said Denton, scanning the sky for signs of storm activity. "I'd love to give this baby's 5.0 Tecumseh engine with electronic ignition a little ride." Added Denton: "That maple tree across the street is pretty old. I bet a good gust could knock it across those power lines."
More News in Brief
Everyone Forgets To Bring Swimsuits To Coworker’s Party
'What Are The Odds?' Pasty, Flabby Colleagues Say
ARLINGTON, TX—While gathered for a party at a coworker’s backyard pool Saturday, out-of-shape colleagues at Shuster, Layne & Associates were struck by the coincidence ...
Coworker Who Went To Gym This Morning A Chipper Little Fucker
BROOKLYN, NY—Running his hands through his freshly showered hair while hanging his backpack on the back of his chair, unbearably chipper little motherfucker Dave ...
Call From Daycare Can't Be Good
HARRISBURG, PA—Speculating that the rest of her day will now definitely take a turn for the worse, local mother Nicole Mendlow confirmed Friday that ...




0

