According to a recent U.N. report, more than one billion people worldwide lack access to clean drinking water. What do you think?

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  The law of nature is 'adapt or die.' If those one billion people want to survive, they'll just have to evolve past the need to drink water.

  Jennifer Gerber
  Auditor

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  Yesterday, I poured a bunch of water down the drain after cooking some pasta. I could've helped an African with that water. I'm so stupid!

  Jesse Miller
  Clerk

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  This problem will be gone as soon as the earth's temperature increases enough to boil the world's lakes and streams, effectively sterilizing them.

  Mark Kunde
  Systems Analyst

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  I'm sorry, but if these people are too lazy to refill their Brita pitchers...

  Kristin Leffe
  Publicist

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  When I was a kid growing up in Love Canal, we didn't have uncontaminated water. Did we complain about it? No. We just shut up and got cancer.

  Mark Henley
  Musical Director

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  Thus we see the first tremors of what history will someday call 'The Volvic Wars.'

  Jeffrey Larsen
  Usher