The Onion would like to apologize for erroneously stating that the Fillmore High School marching band car-wash fundraiser will be held Sunday from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. It will actually be held Saturday from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. The Onion recognized the time and date given were incorrect at the time of publication, but you, dear reader, have no idea—no idea at all—how control over the world's facts becomes a seductive temptress, ceaselessly tormenting our only too-human editors to feel the raw, exhilarating, godlike power of manipulating the truth for our own selfish ends. The price of a car wash is also $5 not $8.
More Corrections
Mule Rank
The mule should have been No. 5 instead of No. 12 on our annual animal rankings. The Onion regrets the error.
Blank Paper
Monday’s paper was blank. The Onion apologizes.
Julie
In yesterday’s issue we accidentally wrote “Julie Gallant” in place of every name in every article.



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