Last week's food section included a recipe for meatless chili, but it turns out meat is pretty important for chili not to taste terrible. The Onion apologizes on behalf of all vegetarians.
The Onion apologizes for its failure to meet the oh-so-high editorial standards of a genius such as yourself.
The headline of Tuesday's article about homegrown terrorism was not as alarmist as it could have been.
After defending Cindy for years, The Onion finally realized she’s no good. You were right.