CorrectionsOpinion ISSUE 48•19 May 9, 2012

The Onion recently wrote that permanence is an illusion. We in the media strive to prevent metaphysical bias from coloring our reporting, and The Onion apologizes, even though news, like reality itself, is ephemeral.

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We're So Sorry

The Onion apologizes for its failure to meet the oh-so-high editorial standards of a genius such as yourself.

Homegrown Terrorism

The headline of Tuesday's article about homegrown terrorism was not as alarmist as it could have been.

You Were Right

After defending Cindy for years, The Onion finally realized she’s no good. You were right.