Millions Have Never Read The Onion

American VoicesOnion 1000Opinion ISSUE 47•25 Jun 23, 2011

According to market research, there are millions of Americans who have never picked up a single issue of The Onion. What do you think?

  • “At least they still get most of The Onion’s intrepid reporting once it's ripped off by The Wall Street Journal.”

    Cynthia Conter –
    Animal Caretaker

  • “For their sake, I'm glad such mentally feeble individuals, bereft of the vital insight The Onion provides, will quickly die from their inability to navigate today's complex world.”

    Don Ryan –
    Sanding Machine Tender

  • “Ha! That's a good one! What is it, April Fool's Day? Oh, crap. It's June? I better call in to work and see if I still have a job.”

    Cody Ross –
    Attorney